Day Fourteen

Sunday March 25th, 2012

I am glad the kids were able to see him for awhile because early this morning Kase woke up first with a mild fever but then started throwing up blood. They kept him stable and ordered more blood. Someone was in his room every 15 mins checking his vitals. His CRITS were down and they were concerned. I asked several times why they hadn't gone in and looked at his again. Obviously the problem has not been fixed, hes been here almost a week. Each person I talked to blew me off and I got so irritated with one Dr I rolled my eyes and turned my back to ignore him while he is talking with me. There are so many different teams working on him, not one person has followed his case from day one, I feel like I am the only one that is keeping things straight. I have had it. I am frustrated with the situation, everyone seems to just wait for him to get sicker. I finally fall back asleep for 20 mins and Dad comes, shortly after Ash and Derek come. The team recommends starting another IV. I am livid, tired of them poking him, tired of IV's going bad, of them not being able to find a vein, tired of holding him while he cries in pain. I reluctantly agree only because they have so much going in to help him right now and he does need another line. I hold him as they dig around his arm for an excruciating 5 mins, Ash and Derek leave the room it is so bad. They walk into the lobby and bawl. He turns to me and says..."I just want to go hoooome, I don't want to do this anymore" I totally understand. I hold him and cry. The IV team brings in a ultrasound and they try another spot. It takes less then a minute to get that IV in. Glad it is over, angry they didn't bring it in the beginning when I have said over and over he is a hard poke.

Finally someone listens to me about going into scope and they get him ready for another surgery. By 2:00 pm he is back in the OR, I have some quiet time to cry and pray. Which is rare for me. I plead for some kind of result, improvement, for them to figure this out, to find out why he is bleeding so much. Grandma Allred walks into the waiting room and they don't even recognize me. I'm tired, swollen eyed, and drained. The surgery takes 1.5 hrs and when the Dr comes in he has pictures to show us. There are ulcers EVERYWHERE in his stomach, and covering his small intestine also. He cauterizes as many as he can.

I walk in with Dad and Justin and I just start to bawl. He is curled up on his side sleeping, the tube is still down his nose to his stomach. He has two more IVs in one arm, the PICC line in the other. He looks so sick. I don't know how much more he can handle. Justin brings in Penny, then Ash and Derek. I go out and say good bye to Macie and Mac. She cries and cries just like before. I miss being home with all my kids. I haven't seen Kambrie for 2 weeks. This is hard on us all. I break down. I lay my head down on his bed and bawl. I am ready for this all to be over.