Tuesday, September 20, 2011

31

Its the eve of my 31st birthday. I have to say that I hate my own birthday. I don't know why, I try to not have expectations. Just try to have a good day but it seems like every year I cry. It is stupid. I am not looking forward to this day. I dont like getting older. It is a reminder of how stuck I am. That no matter how hard I try to change things, nothing seems to adjust in my own life, life seems to being whirling by me...most my friends have made new friends, I don't have time for friends right now, my kids are growing up faster and faster everyday. I cant remember what we even did yesterday, or if I even had a valuable conversation with them. I feel like a failure as a Mom, I work too much, there is nothing to do about that. I just make the best with what time I have with them...or do I? I'm sure I could do more, spend more time, tickle backs, hug, listen to my kids. How do I not have enough time for them, how did life get so busy?
Never less I am 31.

4 comments:

Valerie said...

Kell! Stop, you are a good Mom. And you're thoughtful too. You do everything can to provide for them and that is amazing. Call me if you want me to bring cupcakes...I am always up for a cupcake

*A* said...

You do realize she's going to read this someday right? Saying you think you "hate" her some days is not going to help the problem

Мила said...

Какие вы чудесные))

Мила said...

вы очень милые)